Friday, 18 January 2013

House officers say the darndest things

(So do consultants, but I'm not quite sure that I should quote them here.)

These are not my finest moments at all, but somehow I'm still employed despite these pearls of wisdom.

"Ooh, he has bones!" - reviewing images of a tagged white blood cell scan
"It's because his brain is like polkadots on his MRI." - describing multiple previous infarctions and extensive small vessel disease in an attempt to explain why I wanted OT to do a cognitive assessment.
"This patient's breath sounds are gurgly" - to my registrar
"There's a fluffy bit over there" - pointing out ?right lower zone consolidation on an x-ray
"Sorry I couldn't find a torch, the med student didn't have one" - also to my registrar
"They look squishable and there's no arrows, he must be fine" - describing images showing venous compression on leg USS to rule out a DVT.
"Oh crap, I'm calling the registrar." - said far too often on evenings. I love the registrars.

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